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25 Ways to Score Dairy Love on Valentine’s Day

If you have a dairy farmer in your life, there are 25 ways to irrefutably confirm that Valentine’s Day 2015 has arrived and romance dairy-style is making its presence heartfelt!! He may not have done ALL of these today but you can put a kiss (X) on the heart, if your dairy man has put romance, as described here, into your life.

25 Ways to Score Dairy Love on Valentine’s Day

  1. Valentine’s Day he makes a YOU-turn especially for love. He salutes February romance by bringing his lunch to share with you in the calf barn where you’re re-bedding calf pens. It’s his idea of a “roll in the hay with his little honey”.
  2. The only other women on his mind have four legs and udders. You have the magazines and advertisements and newspapers to prove it. Unfortunately he thinks of them nine days a week.
  3. He’s always inventing more ways to spend quality time together. Recently you have had two-gether time stable cleaning, bagging feed and bookkeeping.
  4. The last handwritten card you received on Valentine’s Day said, “We’re out of colostrum. The feedstore will leave it on the ramp after closing.” Who said your man no longer delivered any good pick-me-ups?
  5. You may be owed it but don’t bank on a dairy farmer producing anything with more poetic rhythm than the seat on the tractor you get to drive to rake hay. Although you would love him to pen “Ode for my wife” you are more likely to receive laundry room “odor for my wife!”
  6. Although you have a romantic vision of total agreement in your partnership, in actual fact, men and women working on dairy farms often disagree. It’s the GMO effect:  Genetically Modified Opposition.
  7. It isn’t that dairy farmers don’t like matchmaking. In fact it’s practically a full-time hobby. Give him a stack of pedigrees and the latest bull proofs and his thoughts, although maybe not focused on love, are definitely focused on finding the perfect mates.
  8. When you occasionally ask why he never says anything romantic to you or about you, his response is, “I am struck dumb by your perfection.” Now that’s a smart dairy farmer.
  9. The last time he presented you with a surprise box on Valentine’s Day, it turned out to be a trip to the granary to see the new litter of kittens that were making their home there. If you were lucky, he also had a second special box … a cardboard one….. so that you could move them somewhere that wouldn’t interfere with your daily chores. Such a thoughtful guy!
  10. Thoughtful and sentimental. Or should that be “scent”imental. Women love it when a man lets his presence be known.  Dairy farmers are great at that. Barn boots across the clean floor, greasy hands on the fresh towels — barny barn smell on the pillow cases.  It may not be better housekeeping but it’s definitely animal husbandry.
  11. Thank goodness most passionate dairy farmers don’t play the field they plough them!
  12. Dairy farmers talk funny – especially when give instructions. You better know where the rock ridge is so that you can bring him a cotter pin when the tractor breaks down north of the dry well by the rail fence on the old Sutter place.
  13. Dairy farmers may not be the brightest valentines in the chocolate box but they are definitely the sharpest ones in the laundry. More times than I can count I have washed pocket knives, burned out light bulbs and udder towels and turned everything the bright red of that new hat that was his “favorite”
  14. It all comes out in the wash… if you’ve ever spent Sunday morning trying to untangle a pair of nylons from 200 yards of binder twine ….you know that isn’t true!
  15. Washing the milk check takes money laundering and strained relationships to a whole new level.
  16. However, on most days, there is no need for a matchmaker in dairy romances. Mother Nature does a wonderful job using storms, drought, wind and rain to keep the relationship from becoming routine or, heaven forbid, predictable.
  17. You both know that your dairy guy thinks it’s a compliment to be asked, “Where you raised in a barn?”
  18. Going “out” is a phrase you have to eliminate from your vocabulary. Out means: the cattle are out; or we’re out of feed;
  19. Some couples share their love by going out to shows. When you share your life with a farmer you have a 24/7 front row seat for the greatest show on earth brought to you by Mother Nature productions.
  20. Dairy sweethearts don’t need Valentine Surprises. The 24/7 of dairy farming has surprises built in. Like the ones that happen when the dairy man who has the key to your heart also leaves every door he passes through open:  house, barn, calf pens.
  21. Dairy love is always ready to cut to the chase. ‘Cattle are out’.
  22. On the other hand, nothing says love like duct tape and binder twine. You may prefer the ribbons and lace of Valentine’s Day, but duct tape and twine get the job done until the perfect fix is available. It’s quick. It’s easy.  Two can do it!!
  23. So don’t expect a dairy farmer to get a fresh haircut for Valentine’s date. Keeping his shaggy locks is a sign of unconditional love. This romantic is not going to do anything that would make him attractive to somebody else.
  24. If you’re still longing for a special treat for Valentine’s Day, sit hubby down and explain your vision for redoing the farmhouse in country modern style. When he looks up, obviously confused, ask, “What do you think?”  Nine times out of ten he will answer, “Sounds great to me”. When he comes in from the barn next week he will have no choice but to love the brand new living room furniture.
  25. This man can fix anything that’s broken but with dairy luck on your side he will never break your heart

The Bullvine Bottom Line

So looking back over our checklist, how does your Dairy Valentine’s Day lover rate? If you checked more than three of these boxes with a smile on your face, the truth is obvious.  You’re in love with a dairy farmer.  You need to repeat this phrase often “I’ve fallen for a dairy farmer and I can’t give him up!!” So to all my peers who also love dairy guys, Happy Valentine’s Day Ladies from the Broadside of the Bullvine!! (Read more: 8 OF THE GREATEST DAIRY LOVE STORIES IN THE WORLDTHE DOS AND DON’TS OF DATING A FARMERTHE MOST IMPORTANT PARTNERSHIP IN THE WORLD)


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